Amor fati

Amor fati is a Latin phrase that may be translated as "love of fate".  Nietzsche made it central to his philosophy. It is basically an attitude in which one sees everything that happens in one's life, including suffering and loss, as good or, at the very least, necessary. We recognize that things really could not have been otherwise, because everything we are and have done is bound closely together in a web of consequences that began with our birth – and which we are powerless to alter at will. e see that what went right and what went horribly wrong are as one, and we commit ourselves to accepting both, to no longer destructively hoping that things could have been otherwise. We were headed to a degree of catastrophe from the start. We know why we are the desperately imperfect beings we are; and why we had to mess things up as badly as we did. We end up saying, with tears in which there mingle grief and a sort of ecstasy, a large yes to the whole of life, in its absolute horror and occasional moments of awesome beauty.

The Stoics were not only familiar with this attitude but they embraced it. Epictetus stated  “Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens happen the way it happens: then you will be happy.” Basically treating each and every moment—no matter how challenging—as something to be embraced, not avoided. To not only be okay with it, but love it and be better for it. So that like oxygen to a fire, obstacles and adversity become fuel for your potential.

When we accept what happens to us, after understanding that certain things— particularly bad things—are outside our control, we are left with this: loving whatever happens to us and facing it with unfailing cheerfulness and strength. As bestselling author Robert Greene has put it, we need to “accept the fact that all events occur for a reason, and that it is within your capacity to see this reason as positive.”

It’s a little unnatural to love things we never wanted to happen in the first place. But what other, worse adversities might this one be saving us from? What might we learn from this unchosen experience? What good, equally unexpected events might result from it? We know that in retrospect we often look back at difficult times fondly, almost wistfully, so we might as well feel that now.

Amor fati—is a love of what happens because that’s your only option.